There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize