I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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