if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
