wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
even my farts smell like vagina
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
