did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize