sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
