It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
