my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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