Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
