So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
