Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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