I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize