no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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