those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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