worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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