? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize