did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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