no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
