shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Threesome in a minivan. New low
3pm strippers are depressing
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
