A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
