Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
