In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
