Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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