The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
