did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
