I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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