That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize