Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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