you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
