If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
