I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
