she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
even my farts smell like vagina
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
