this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize