I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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