i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You made out with two different species that night
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize