I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize