i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
