But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
