you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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