just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
ttyl tear gas
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
