yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
