ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
