On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
