dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
