we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
