Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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