If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
