dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
