just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
