they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
