this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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