I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize