If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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