Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
