Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
