Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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