So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
