It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
