i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize