Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
