atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
