Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
