i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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