With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
