Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize