She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
