Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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