Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
